


Clusterfuck

by Lilbug121



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Biting, Everyone is still a huge dork though they're just huge dorks getting laid, F/M, Gratuitous Smut, M/M, Multi, Multiple Orgasms, Orgy, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Trans Character, Trans Tucker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-27
Updated: 2014-08-27
Packaged: 2018-02-15 01:24:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2210406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilbug121/pseuds/Lilbug121
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>But in the hours before bed, somehow, someway, the five of them managed to not only exist but to have sex, quite possibly one of the most difficult things to not fuck up and get hurt doing, completely smoothly. If Church had to blame anyone for this, it would be Sister. Or maybe Wash. They just projected that sort of feeling; Sister for the sex, Wash for the fact that it wasn’t such a clusterfuck.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Well, it was still a bit of a clusterfuck. It wouldn’t be Blue Team if it wasn’t.</i>
</p>
<p>This is really and truly nothing but everyone on Blue Team fucking each other for no good reason, and it has Sister and Wash in it even though their times on Blue Team never overlapped. I'm not even sorry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clusterfuck

Literally everything that happens at Blue Base is a clusterfuck. Making meals, training, general day-to-day activities, everything that was accomplished happened because either A.) they got lucky or B.) someone happened to listen to Wash. But in the hours before bed, somehow, someway, the five of them managed to not only exist but to have sex, quite possibly one of the most difficult things to not fuck up and get hurt doing, completely smoothly. If Church had to blame anyone for this, it would be Sister. Or maybe Wash. They just projected that sort of feeling; Sister for the sex, Wash for the fact that it wasn’t such a clusterfuck.

Well, it was still a bit of a clusterfuck. It wouldn’t be Blue Team if it wasn’t.

There wasn’t much time to think on that now though, not with the more pressing matter of Tucker grinding down hard on Church’s palm, groaning as the fingers inside of him curled forward; or the even more pressing matter of “holy fuck what did Caboose just do with his tongue and how can I get him to do that again”. Church added a third finger, twisting them slightly, and curved his hand so he was pressing on Tucker’s clit. He came with a breathy moan, walls spasming around Church’s fingers in a way that made his dick twitch thinking about being inside him for the next one. Tucker pulled him into a biting kiss, but it didn’t last long before he was doubled over gripping Caboose’s hair, groaning and bucking into the wet heat of his mouth.

Caboose leaned happily against Church’s legs for a moment, and Church ran his fingers through Caboose’s hair to smooth it out. He leaned into the touch, like a cat being petted, which made Church repeat the action. He was smiling, looking way too innocent for what he was just doing, made even worse by the cum on his cheek.

“Thinking about coming up for air, buddy?”. He stood up, almost a head taller than Church (and he didn’t even consider himself that tall, fucking low-grav colonies), and Tucker grabbed his dick in one hand before kneeling down and licking a wet stripe from root to tip. Not one to be outdone, Church joined his friend and mouthed at Caboose’s dick. With Caboose’s breathy moans and the noises of Wash and Kaikaina a few feet away doing whatever they were doing, Church was getting hard again and Tucker’s slick was increasingly more than just his cum. This was going to be a self-perpetuating cycle again, they were sure of it. Not that anyone minded.

After he came, Caboose joined Church on the ground before he had a chance to get up, vying for more physical contact. Church wasn’t a cuddler, after all, and this was one of the only times Caboose could be physically affectionate to him without being reprimanded. Tucker left them to that, instead making his way over to where Wash was eating Sister out. She squealed when he grabbed her breasts from behind, her giggles morphing once again into moans. He pressed his body flush with hers and mouthed at her neck and shoulders. He sucked a mark where neck met shoulder as Wash swiped his tongue across her clit. This sent her over the edge and she came, bucking into Wash’s face. Tucker was practically grinding against her, and Kai immediately turned and captured Tucker’s lips with her own.

“C’mon Wash” he got out between open mouthed kisses. “Need you to fuck me”.

Wash was just getting up, and he pressed against Tucker from behind, letting him feel how hard he was. He reached around to tease him, calloused fingers rubbing and just short of entering. Sister bit down on his neck and he groaned, bucking his hips forward into Wash’s fingers. But Wash moved his hand away, instead tangling it in his dreads and pulling slightly.

“What was that?” he grinned. “Need me to fuck you?” Tucker grinned as well.

“Your cock’s the closest” he countered, playing along.

Wash again brought his hand down, running a finger along Tucker’s opening before roughly pressing two inside of him.

“Do you really need a cock? Or do you just need me?” he growled. Tucker keened. Sister took her leave, deciding to watch for the time being. Tucker and Wash always made things interesting.

Wash pulled Tucker’s dreads again, exposing his neck which he bit into, making Tucker buck his hips again.

“I know all of your buttons, Lavernius,” he whispered gruffly. Tucker almost sounded like he was choking, rutting against Wash’s hand. “By the time you get my cock you won’t even want to think about sex again”.

Tucker arched his back in orgasm, and when his rutting faltered Wash thrust his fingers back inside of him. He groaned, and Wash added more bruises to his abused neck. They played this game a lot, and Kai knew their parts almost as well as they did. By the end of the night Tucker’s neck and hips would be more bruises and bites than anything else, and Wash’s back will look like he pissed off a whole shelter full of cats.

Church, meanwhile, had intended to work Caboose open and…but wow, no, that was way too hot of a noise to stop now, he thought, and experimentally prodded again. Yep, that was his prostate alright, rubbing gentle circles this time. Caboose whimpered, and made little cut off desperate moans, and Church could literally feel his own cock throbbing.

Sister made her way over when she was bored of watching Wash and Tucker, brushed Caboose’s sweaty hair out of his eyes and kissed him (he didn’t like tongues, she remembered).

“Hey big guy, is Church being mean to you?” she asked, more meant to tease Church than Caboose. And also to check in. Just in case.

“Not-nngh-not mean” he stuttered out. Church grinned.

Sister watched this for a while as well. She liked watching these things go on, to touch herself and observe instead of having to perform so much. Not that sex wasn’t worth the effort; it was just nice to have a mix. She watched Church kiss Caboose’s jaw and add a fourth finger, watched him throw his head back and whine, watched his legs shake and his muscles twitch, his eyes glossing over in pleasure that seemed to border on unbearable because Church was taking his damn time. His untouched dick twitched and throbbed, and she took a little pity on him, placing comforting kisses to his neck and jaw. Hearing his shuddering moans go up in pitch and feeling his muscles tense and relax. He clutched at Church’s back and doubled over, cumming with a shaky sob, and she laughed when it hit Church in the face.

“Well that was graceful”

“Shut up!”

“I’d say make me, but that’s just low hanging fruit”

“Your face is low hanging fruit”

“Shut up!” she giggled, pushing him playfully.

Church grinned.

“Make me”.

So she did, all but tackling him in order to swallow his aching cock in one go. It didn’t shut him up, per say, as he was plenty loud, but it did prevent him from forming coherent words other than expletives and broken off versions of her name.

Tucker shakes as Wash drags his tongue slowly, holding down his bucking hips with bruising force as Tucker’s muscles contract involuntarily. His orgasm is pleasure tinged with pain, which doubles around and becomes a weird kind of pleasure unto itself. He prefers it that way.

“Do you still want my cock, Tucker?” Wash growls.

“Yes” Tucker chokes out, voice ragged. “God yes, please”

Wash smiles. He lets Tucker grab at his back as he sinks in slowly, pretending to regard the pained sounds he makes at over stimulated raw nerves coldly but listening closely for any sign of their safe word. Hearing none he moves slowly and deliberately, almost methodical. Tucker’s nerves are fried and he thinks his brain is on its way; he’s an over-sensitive mess, and he groans out like a wounded animal as he clenches around Wash. But Wash isn’t done yet, fucks him through the orgasm and that’s when tears threaten to fall from the corners of his eyes. His voice cracks when he groans out, and when Wash finally spills out he kisses him gently, almost softly, as if he was sorry even though Tucker literally asked for it and was able to back out any time.

Tucker rolls over, eyes blown wide. “Fuuuuuuuck you are evil”

“You ok?” Wash asks, always concerned.

“Yeah, fine. Awesome. Tired as hell. You know, the usual”

“Make sure you-“

“Drink something, I know, trust me. I was planning on it." He rubbed his throat as if it would help. "I think I blew out my voice.”

“Oh no. What a tragedy.”

“Shut up man” Tucker laughs, shoving Wash’s arm.

Sister and Church are arguing over who gets first shower. Wash reminds them that fucking in the shower as a compromise is dangerous. Sister says that he can't tell her what to do because he's just a fake cop, and Wash doesn't bother answering. Tucker is already halfway through a bottle of Gatorade and has confirmed that yes, he has blown out his voice. Caboose wants a bedtime story. Church points out that he's too old for bedtime stories, and consents to reading him one anyways because he started crying. 

Life on Blue Base returns to being a clusterfuck.


End file.
